This Girl

To be able to know this girl is a privilege.

To be able to love this girl is a blessing.

To be able to call this girl my best friend is a treasure.

Words could not express how amazing and precious this girl is.

She is one of the strongest women that I have ever met. 

Her faith, unshakable.

Her heart is big, and I love to watch her as she shares her love, 

and the love of Christ to all those around her.

We do everything together, share everything with each other 

(I don't know what I would do without my KerBear!).

I am BEYOND blessed to be able to call her my little sister.

Today is her birthday!!

Happy, happy.... HAPPY birthday Kerker!!!

I love you!!

Imperfection

I sit here trying to think of the perfect words to begin a post entitled "imperfection". Somehow it is the beginning that is always the hardest.
You know the real reason that my blog posts have been infrequent is not always because of lack of time. It is because of my desire for perfection.

I don't like to make mistakes. You could say that I have a fear of failing.
I will hold myself back, not say things when I want to and not be who I really am in front of people because I am scared of messing up.
I sometimes actually write out whole blog posts and then delete them because I am afraid of what people will think of me now that I was honest, or now that I showed them who I really am.

Our pastor preached a message the other Sunday about mistakes and how God isn't baffled by them. God uses our mistakes for His purpose and glory.
Yesterday I went to a young ladies bible study where we learned about how God wants to use our story... even all of our mistakes for His glory.

It is starting to sink in.
If I live my life with the purpose of avoiding failure, I am going to be inadvertently avoiding the purpose that God has for my life. Sure, maybe I won't make as many mistakes, but I am also going to miss out on all the things that I could have accomplished for God.
If I don't try, and just hide in my own "safe" world, then God won't be able to use me. It is an action that always precedes a result.

This has been a lesson that I have struggled to learn for a very long time, and though I have gotten better at it, I am starting to see that I have not come as far as I can. This life is a continuing journey, and I need to continue on that journey.

So, maybe there will be more posts on here that are not so perfect (or... what I deem to be perfect anyway :), maybe there will even be some that make no sense at all. But what I am going to be doing is doing, instead of waiting for the perfect moment, or the perfect words.

There. You have been forewarned :)

Dream List #18

Dream list number eighteen. To go for thirty days without eating anything unhealthy.

I have been attempting to reach this goal for a very long time. But whenever I tried, I would give in to the temptations that would present themselves, and find myself back at the starting line. Pretty soon, I just gave up trying.

This January fifth our church began a weight loss competition. For the past four weeks; and continuing on for eight more, we have committed ourselves to be accountable to one another with weekly weigh-ins, all striving for the goal of becoming healthier and of course, to be the "Biggest Loser".
Being in the group has been life changing. It is not just my (insane) competitive drive that has caused me to find success. The encouragement and love that I have received from them has pushed me beyond my limits and helped me to see myself as more then I thought I was.

Three days ago was day thirty of this journey. And that marked the day that I was able to complete that illusive number on my dream list!
Though it has been a challenging month, the rewards have been so worth it!

I have felt so much more energetic, and have been happy to experience life free of the side affects of sugar and other unhealthy food choices.
This journey has forced me to really consider what I want the end goal to be. Not only do I strive to become more fit and healthy and to reach a goal weight, but I also work to change the inside. To get to the heart of all my issues. To be able to turn to God instead of to an unhealthy food choice to fill the empty spaces in my heart.
I don't just want temporary outside changes to take me to the end of a competition (maybe win!?! :) and then fall right back to where I was, and let all the hard work I put in go to waste. I want to make a forever change.

For me, this is not anymore all about a number on the scale.  Rather it is about reaching those personal goals and being the best version of me. The me that God has created me to be.
Sure, I still want to win the grand prize, but it is more then just a prize that I am working so hard for. It is the satisfaction of the overcoming of certain things that I have struggled with in the past.

This is not the end. This is just the beginning.
But it is the claiming of this one victory that will propel me further on my journey.
Thirty days completed. A lifetime of days to go.