A few weeks after I first met Joanna and her family, I wrote a post about courtship/dating. In church the next Sunday they told me a little bit of their love story. It was really exciting and encouraging to hear a story of someone who has "been there" and "made it through"! I asked Joanna if she would be willing to do a guest post on my blog as I know that there are quite a few girls that read my blog that have chosen to take the path of courtship.
Since their story was such an encouragement to me, I thought that you would be encouraged and challenged as well.
Joanna has told me that she would be willing to answer any questions that any of you might have. I know that she has also put a lot of work into writing down her story for you all, so please comment and let her know if you were blessed by it.
When Jen asked me to share our courtship story, I was excited and nervous at the same time. Excited that I might be able to encourage someone, and nervous that I might not find the right words. My desire is to see as many young people enjoy the blessings and fulfillment a marriage has to offer! When we will just fix our eyes on Jesus, He will direct our path. ( For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future- Jeremiah 29:11)
Our Love Story
I don’t even know where to begin or how to thank God enough for His many blessings in my life! My journey is definitely not your ordinary fairytale, but it has been a ride of a lifetime, directed and ordained by God. I write to any un-married women currently thinking (or not thinking) about what your future may hold.
Obviously, us girls immediately wonder about “who will I marry?”, how many kids will I have?”, where will God lead me?” Well, I can tell you, I had all these questions at a young age and often shuddered at the thought of marrying someone, only to realize he was not the one. Hollywood paints this picture well for teenagers….fall in love, beautiful wedding…. Only to find someone “more” wonderful and do it all over again. Needless to say, this fear drove me to pray a lot! I often prayed that God would prepare for me a husband after His heart. I remember praying for specific character traits that I now see in my husband Tony; I can honestly say that God gave me so much more than I had asked for! God prepared a man better than I could have possibly dreamed up! I am so glad to know God put us together, and together He is using us as a ministry team to further His kingdom! Okay, so here’s our story…
Growing up I had always set a high standard for myself. Maybe this was because of the many “talks” I had had with my Mom who I shared a very close relationship with. Long story short, my mother conceived a child out of wedlock only to marry my dad months later. She lived with a lot of things she had wished she’d done differently. I made a standard for myself in high school. I would not date/court UNLESS I could envision myself marrying and following through with the guy. I often prayed that God would also keep my future husband pure and strong enough to withhold temptations…cause don’t get me wrong--they ARE out there! Depending on what your surroundings are, temptations are everywhere. There is an increasing pressure for young people to engage in an emotional; plus physical relationship at a VERY young age. Growing up I remember my parents instructing us to change the channel if there was a simple kiss on a show, let alone any other physical affection. Nowadays, our society has become numb to way more than just a kiss. This may sound old fashioned, but it seems like nothing is sacred anymore. I believe God has designed marriage to be holy and sacred- a true representation of what the Bride of Christ should be to God, pure and undefiled.
When I first met Tony, I assumed he would be way too good for me. Such a strong man of God, and one that was not ashamed to proclaim the Gospel. He was very different from a lot of guys that I knew who went to church, but didn’t necessarily center their life around Christ. I admired him…and of course ladies, I thought he was very handsome as well! Just a bonus, right?! :) Anyway, after joining a small church group in Saskatchewan where Tony’s dad happened to pastor, I found myself spending basically everyday with the small youth group. Tony and I became best friends and somehow we would always manage to find something in common to talk about…laugh about. Apparently everyone else seen it long before we did! :o) During this time, I had immersed myself in so much worship and prayer time that I hardly knew what was transpiring.
I remember talking to a friend on the phone about marriage and remember her telling me about the doubt that some girls feel, even as they walk down the aisle to marry their man. She figured that this is a normal feeling and she believed that everyone went through that on their wedding day. Well now!…this really shook me up!! I had just recently learned about how real God is and how He can still speak and show signs and wonders, so I decided to put God “to the test.” I remember getting off the phone that night and proclaiming that “God, if you want me to marry, than I want you to tell me who through my pastors mouth!” Weird request I know, but that’s what I wanted. I assumed this request would be fulfilled years down the road and little did I know, the boy I would marry sat in the small church I already attended. My relationship with Tony continued to grow…I remember the day I thought about Tony finding a girl somewhere and getting married…the thought made me want to cry because I cared for him so much.
Then one day, Tony’s dad (my pastor) called me and asked if I would have a meeting with him and his wife at the church. I thought I was in big trouble for sure! After we sat down he went on to tell me that there was a boy in the church that had strong feelings for me and that he felt God leading us together. That boy was Tony! Now to someone else, they might find this weird. You mean your pastor told you to date each other?! No! God had heard my request and had no problem fulfilling it for me. Plus no one (including my pastor) knew about what I had asked that night, so this was all becoming VERY real to me at this point. Meanwhile…Tony had been having strong feelings for me as well and had the same fear of me ending up with another guy one day. The night his dad came over, he had confessed to his dad that he too wanted to pursue a deeper relationship with me. So that was that! I remember shaking the entire night. God had spoke to me!!! A lot to take in for an 18 year old girl!!! And so exciting at the same time! My brain was going wild and I don’t recall sleeping a wink that night!
We went on our first date on April 17th, 2004 and I was so nervous I accidentally ordered half a chicken for supper! Lol! Way to show him I had a good appetite heh?! On the way home we talked about standards/rules we should set for ourselves. We both agreed that it was important not to tempt each other before marriage and that in order to keep ourselves pure, we would not kiss, but we both decided our first kiss would be on our wedding day. You need to understand that at this point, Tony and I already knew each other really well and we were dating/courting with marriage in mind. I don’t believe it is healthy for young people to date and “try each other out.” If you cannot see yourself with that guy for the rest of your life, don’t even waist your time and emotions! Trust me, you will be SO happy you saved EVERYTHING for your husband! The wait is SO worth it ladies!!
Our Love Story
I don’t even know where to begin or how to thank God enough for His many blessings in my life! My journey is definitely not your ordinary fairytale, but it has been a ride of a lifetime, directed and ordained by God. I write to any un-married women currently thinking (or not thinking) about what your future may hold.
Obviously, us girls immediately wonder about “who will I marry?”, how many kids will I have?”, where will God lead me?” Well, I can tell you, I had all these questions at a young age and often shuddered at the thought of marrying someone, only to realize he was not the one. Hollywood paints this picture well for teenagers….fall in love, beautiful wedding…. Only to find someone “more” wonderful and do it all over again. Needless to say, this fear drove me to pray a lot! I often prayed that God would prepare for me a husband after His heart. I remember praying for specific character traits that I now see in my husband Tony; I can honestly say that God gave me so much more than I had asked for! God prepared a man better than I could have possibly dreamed up! I am so glad to know God put us together, and together He is using us as a ministry team to further His kingdom! Okay, so here’s our story…
Growing up I had always set a high standard for myself. Maybe this was because of the many “talks” I had had with my Mom who I shared a very close relationship with. Long story short, my mother conceived a child out of wedlock only to marry my dad months later. She lived with a lot of things she had wished she’d done differently. I made a standard for myself in high school. I would not date/court UNLESS I could envision myself marrying and following through with the guy. I often prayed that God would also keep my future husband pure and strong enough to withhold temptations…cause don’t get me wrong--they ARE out there! Depending on what your surroundings are, temptations are everywhere. There is an increasing pressure for young people to engage in an emotional; plus physical relationship at a VERY young age. Growing up I remember my parents instructing us to change the channel if there was a simple kiss on a show, let alone any other physical affection. Nowadays, our society has become numb to way more than just a kiss. This may sound old fashioned, but it seems like nothing is sacred anymore. I believe God has designed marriage to be holy and sacred- a true representation of what the Bride of Christ should be to God, pure and undefiled.
When I first met Tony, I assumed he would be way too good for me. Such a strong man of God, and one that was not ashamed to proclaim the Gospel. He was very different from a lot of guys that I knew who went to church, but didn’t necessarily center their life around Christ. I admired him…and of course ladies, I thought he was very handsome as well! Just a bonus, right?! :) Anyway, after joining a small church group in Saskatchewan where Tony’s dad happened to pastor, I found myself spending basically everyday with the small youth group. Tony and I became best friends and somehow we would always manage to find something in common to talk about…laugh about. Apparently everyone else seen it long before we did! :o) During this time, I had immersed myself in so much worship and prayer time that I hardly knew what was transpiring.
I remember talking to a friend on the phone about marriage and remember her telling me about the doubt that some girls feel, even as they walk down the aisle to marry their man. She figured that this is a normal feeling and she believed that everyone went through that on their wedding day. Well now!…this really shook me up!! I had just recently learned about how real God is and how He can still speak and show signs and wonders, so I decided to put God “to the test.” I remember getting off the phone that night and proclaiming that “God, if you want me to marry, than I want you to tell me who through my pastors mouth!” Weird request I know, but that’s what I wanted. I assumed this request would be fulfilled years down the road and little did I know, the boy I would marry sat in the small church I already attended. My relationship with Tony continued to grow…I remember the day I thought about Tony finding a girl somewhere and getting married…the thought made me want to cry because I cared for him so much.
Then one day, Tony’s dad (my pastor) called me and asked if I would have a meeting with him and his wife at the church. I thought I was in big trouble for sure! After we sat down he went on to tell me that there was a boy in the church that had strong feelings for me and that he felt God leading us together. That boy was Tony! Now to someone else, they might find this weird. You mean your pastor told you to date each other?! No! God had heard my request and had no problem fulfilling it for me. Plus no one (including my pastor) knew about what I had asked that night, so this was all becoming VERY real to me at this point. Meanwhile…Tony had been having strong feelings for me as well and had the same fear of me ending up with another guy one day. The night his dad came over, he had confessed to his dad that he too wanted to pursue a deeper relationship with me. So that was that! I remember shaking the entire night. God had spoke to me!!! A lot to take in for an 18 year old girl!!! And so exciting at the same time! My brain was going wild and I don’t recall sleeping a wink that night!
We went on our first date on April 17th, 2004 and I was so nervous I accidentally ordered half a chicken for supper! Lol! Way to show him I had a good appetite heh?! On the way home we talked about standards/rules we should set for ourselves. We both agreed that it was important not to tempt each other before marriage and that in order to keep ourselves pure, we would not kiss, but we both decided our first kiss would be on our wedding day. You need to understand that at this point, Tony and I already knew each other really well and we were dating/courting with marriage in mind. I don’t believe it is healthy for young people to date and “try each other out.” If you cannot see yourself with that guy for the rest of your life, don’t even waist your time and emotions! Trust me, you will be SO happy you saved EVERYTHING for your husband! The wait is SO worth it ladies!!
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| Our engagement picture |
Tony and I dated/courted for 9 months total-this included mostly group dates and the occasional walk or supper date. Not once did Tony come up to my apartment with me alone or were we found in a situation where things could get out of hand. I won’t lie though, further to the end, it got A LOT harder to hold back my feelings for Tony. God has designed us to want to show our love and these are completely normal feelings. They are just meant for marriage and are so much better when left for marriage. You see, when you grow feelings for someone, a person naturally wants to progress. It’s just the way we operate. Some girl says she just wants to kiss on the cheek…well that kiss on the cheek gets a little closer next time until one day it’s a peck on the lips…only to find it progress to the next step and so on and so on… I would encourage anyone in a relationship to be strict with your standards for each other. You can NEVER take back something after it’s done, but you will never regret waiting till marriage. So why not wait?!
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Our First Kiss |
Our fist kiss was on our wedding day, January 15, 2005. Our marriage has been wonderful and Tony and I often joke that we have the best and strongest marriage ever!! Not saying that it is always sunshine and roses, but with Gods love and the love we have for each other, I believe we can stand any test. A lot of people would say that our method of courtship is boring or old fashioned, but I’d like to challenge anyone one out there to try it! I don’t EVER regret waiting and I do believe because we did, it is now one of our greatest strengths. Because of it, we share the most open and trustworthy relationship, not having to deal with the feeling of guilt that so many other married couples face.
Please know that I do not condemn those that haven’t waited for marriage…for God is a healer of relationships, and forgiver of sin! Ask God to give you the strength to wait, so that you too can receive the blessing of marriage in it’s fullness! He has been so good to me, why wouldn’t I share it and encourage others that they too can have their mate hand picked by God!
Joanna
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| Tony, Joanna and their adorable kids Noah and Natalie :) |
