There are many things I didn't expect when it comes to being a wife, pregnancy, becoming a mom, going through the crazy postpartum hormones. These are things that I had never heard tell, not listened to in conversations that my mom or married sisters had... completely took me by surprise. So, I thought I'd do a blog series on those unexpected things for any women out there who are about to become a wife or mother, so they can be a little bit more ready than I was. I understand that everyone's experiences are different, especially when it comes to the changes that happen in your body while growing a human for 9 months. Some of these things are just funny unexpected little experiences, and others are things that I wish I would have heard about before it all happened so I could have been better prepared.
Anyhow, let me get started.
Postpartum.
I know this isn't exactly in chronological order, but this one is fresh in my mind, so it shall be part 1.
- The bombarding of tear inducing hormones.
The tiniest little things would set me off. Like the sight of our tiny human. Or Ben telling me he loved me.
I told Ben to take advantage of my unbridled sobbing incidences because they wouldn't last forever. I heard often in that week how beautiful I was, and how much he loved me. :)
2. The struggle with change
I loved my baby, loved being a mom, but while those hormones were on a rampage, there were times that I resented the change from two to three. Especially having had a c-section, I struggled with guilt about not being the wife that my husband was used to. Not at all to say that Ben expected me to do and be exactly who I was, He was AMAZING through my surgery recovery and never made me feel like I had to do more than I felt up to doing. For a solid week, I only got out of bed to use the facilities and occasionally get myself some food (Ben brought me food in bed many times, which, yes, did make me cry :).
The feelings of guilt were completely unexpected, and I was unprepared. Life had made such a sudden change. It was hard to deal with the feelings of overwhelming love for this new little miracle that had made her way into our lives, and guilt that she was taking all of my time and I wasn't able to be there for Ben. The first few months were rough in this regard because Abi would be grumpy, and I was basically as I would put it "Stuck under a baby" from 5:30 - 10:00 or 11:00 most evenings, which is when Ben and I normally spent time together. It was an adjustment that I learned I needed to take, and had to remind myself over and over that this was just a short season. Of course, the joy of being parents to our sweet Abigail is more than worth a few months of shifted focus, I just had not been expecting to have those feelings.
3. The subtle disappearance of cravings and food aversions
I expected that the cravings and aversions would leave as soon as the 7 lb bundle left my body. But it took close to a month before my eating habits were back to normal. I had been excited to drink coffee again, because I hadn't been able to put down more than a few sips from a cup since the beginning of pregnancy (and I really missed it!), but it took several weeks and several attempts before I could down a cup in one serving. I also expected my hair to immediately begin falling out, but it took until just recently. I guess I didn't really understand the gradual entry and exit of those hormones. It's probably a good thing, that would be another overwhelming slam to the body after all it had already been through.
4. The return of my period after less than six weeks
Sorry guys, but I've got to talk about this because for me it was a big deal, completely unexpected, and something I wish I had been more mentally prepared for.
I had decided to breastfeed Abigail, and because of that, I expected after pregnancy that I would have at least 6 months to a year for all of my insides to recover before I had to deal with the running course of the menstural cycle. But there I was, in the vehicle feeding my baby after having spent the day shopping (those who have shopped with a newborn before know this is way easier said than done), struggling with my milk supply because I had recently come through having plugged ducts, and the worst cramps I've ever had in my life hit me out of nowhere. It was brutal.
Thankfully it was just a one time thing and my menstural experience has returned to normal. But wowsa, watch out for that first one girls!
5. The desperate need for help and support
I was so blessed be loved and supported by so many special people in my life. I'm not typically one who will ask for or accept help, so it was quite humbling to me to realize that I simply couldn't do it all.
I remember one day after a particularly sleep deprived night, my mom texted me and asked if she could come over and take care of Abi so that I could rest. I burst into grateful tears, because I was so desperate for sleep... and my little one wasn't that great at taking naps during the day! She also weeded my garden, and made me supper that day which was a huge blessing!
For a couple of weeks my mother-in-law did all of my laundry, she looked after my garden for me for all of the summer (looking back... I was quite silly to plant a garden right before having a baby!), and would come and randomly clean our house.
My hubs would come inside after a long work day and do all these little things that I used to be able to do, but now was unable.
I also literally didn't have to make a meal for two months because of all the fresh and freezer meals that were gifted to us.
All of the help was such an overwhelming blessing.
Go help out a new mama if you can! I guarantee that she will appreciate it!
Ya, so needless to say... there were many things about postpartum that I didn't expect, these are just a few! I give mad props to all of you mamas out there (especially my mom who did it 14 times!). This motherhood journey is definitely not easy... but so incredibly rewarding!
