*I'm not going to write about what he did, you can look it up online if you want to know more.
The day that I first heard about it, I cried all day long. I felt a deep, deep sorrow for the babies that were killed. I wrote this in my journal...
Mr. Gosnell. I just read a bunch of stuff about him and how he murdered live babies at his abortion clinic. It didn't really hit me as reality until I saw this picture of a beautiful baby boy who had been born alive and then killed by having his throat slit.
Then I started thinking about how many precious babies are killed before they are born when they are deemed to not yet be human.
Precious and innocent lives, all snuffed out before they get a chance to take their first breath.
What this guy did seems so much more horrid and inhumane, but really... it is not much worse then any other abortion. While I was reading the artical somehow it starts to get into your head that abortions before 24 weeks is okay because they hype and rave about how horrible this guy was to do it after 24 weeks.
But it is all the same. It is all murder. If a baby was 23 weeks and 6 days would it be murder or an abortion?
I just feel so helpless and heartbroken. This is happening everyday and here I am worrying and stressing over petty little things that don't even matter.
What on earth am I doing?
Here I am not even able to go 2 hours without messing up, and here are all these women, who don't have the hope that I have.
You many not see the connection, but I feel like I've got to live all I can in honor of these babies that never did get a chance to live. To somehow make myself more worthy to care. More worthy to greive for these little children.
I keep seeing that picture of the baby in my mind's eye.
Someone must greive for him.
Someone must care.
Someone must live for him.
Someone must do something about it.
The feelings that I had that day are hard to put down into words.
As I read further from a few christian blogs and comments about the situation, I found myself to be very disappointed. What I was seeing was making my heart cry. My sorrow turned anger filled.
In bitterly laced words, most of them wanted this man, Kermit Gosnell, to receive the same fate as that of the babies that he murdered. I'm glad that he was caught and put into prison... but to hope he dies?
Does he deserve to die? Yes, he does... but so do I.
Does he deserve forgiveness? No, he doesn't.... but neither do I.
I hate what this man did, hate it so bad I could scream. But I can't hate the man.
Jesus loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
If he could forgive the soldiers that nailed him to the cross, while he was still on the cross.... then I think that He can forgive even the worst of sinners.
So that day I began to pray, I began to pray for Kermit Gosnell.
I prayed that God would have mercy on his soul and send someone to tell him about the hope and forgiveness that he SO desperately needs.
I prayed that God would help him to realize how awfully, terribly, heinously wrong he was...so that he could begin to seek the only hope that there is left for him.
Yes, it seems hopeless, but think about Paul. He zealously brought many christians to be put to death (Acts 26). Did God not forgive him and then use him in a mighty way for His glory?
Do we forget sometimes that with God ALL things are possible? Even healing a murderous heart?
What about people like Osama Bin Laden? How many people out there rejoiced at his death?
I honestly cried when I heard about it. I didn't see it as an evil man getting what he deserves, I saw it as a soul that is now spending an eternity in utter darkness and hopelessness.
Do I believe that God is just?
Of course, but I also believe that He is merciful, and that both His justice and His mercy are beyond our comprehension.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness;
but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish,
but that all should come to repentance.
4 comments:
You don't know me, but I've been reading your family's blogs for a few years now. I found y'all through the Munck family blog. :)
Anyway, I too spent a day in tears over this situation. I cried for hours and hours. I was sad for those precious babies. I was sad for all of the precious babies that have been and continue to be aborted.
I always knew abortion was bad, and I was always sad about it, but it wasn't untill I read articles about how it is done and then about what Mr. Gosnell did that it hit me just how terrible it is. It's horrible. Insane. And it makes me sick. My heart is broken, not only for the precious babies who are murdered, but also for everyone else invovled: the mothers, fathers, "doctors", "nurses"... everyone. Like you said, they don't have the hope that we do. And that just makes my heart hurt over and over.
I admit, I was so mad at Mr. Gosnell. I wanted him to be brought for justice. But you're right! We all deserve justice. Death. Maybe we haven't done anything as bad as killing innocent children, but every sin is terrible in God's eyes. Mr. Gosnell doesn't deserve forgiveness or mercy, but goodness, neither do I!!
My prayer has changed. Thank you for helping me realize that i need to pray for Mr. Gosnell. He needs God. This post has been an eye opener for me and I thank you for writing it!
We can rest assured that all the babies are with Jesus right now, living a life that we can't even imagine. And we can continue to fight for all of the other babies whoes lives are at risk. God bless you. <3
Wow, thanks so much for sharing. It is so easy to condemn other people's sin for being so heinous (I am so guilty of this...) without realizing and acknowledging my own helplessness and sinfulness. I'm so glad God can redeem all situations for good- and for His glory!
Yvonne, from Texas
Very well put girl!
Wow. I hadn't heard about this case. *livesunderarock* Sickening.
How many people out there rejoiced at his death? I honestly cried when I heard about it. I didn't see it as an evil man getting what he deserves, I saw it as a soul that is now spending an eternity in utter darkness and hopelessness.
This is absolutely beautiful. You are an old soul, Jennifer.
I remember having somewhat similar feelings when Saddam Hussein was executed. I felt it would be more appropriate to mourn a poorly lived life, than to rejoice in it's end. What was there to celebrate in killing? I found the celebration of it barbaric, at the time. Though I can see why people who were tormented by him, would be happy he was gone.
Anyway darlin, I feel humbled by your honesty, and blessed that you decided to post so openly and sensitively in a place where I could read what's been on your heart. Thank you.
You are such a compassionate woman, filled with the love of Jesus. The more I've gotten to know you online, and through your words on this blog, the more I see that. :)
What this guy did seems so much more horrid and inhumane, but really... it is not much worse then any other abortion.
While I fully respect this view (with my whole heart, no judgement, I can certainly see why you hold it), I wanted to point out that ectopic pregnancies, in which the baby is growing outside of the womb, need to be terminated early, otherwise the mother and child will die. It's a tragic situation to be in, but it is one case in which an abortion is truly humane, for it saves the life of the mother. You are probably aware of this already, but I wanted to bring it up because, as I've gotten older and heard more stories, I've come to see the abortion issue as less black and white than I thought it was growing up. Still, it's a heartbreaking topic, however you look at it.
ANYWAY, ((big hugs)) Jennifer. I believe forgiveness is more powerful than any of us realize. You are doing something beautiful by choosing that path.
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