Awake in His Likeness

I have been trying to take time to sit down and write this post since last year.
Ya, go ahead. Roll your eyes, fake a chuckle, it is a joke that is lame and overused, I know. 
Even being on holidays for the past few weeks, it has been hard to find the time for this blogging thing, partly because our family has had sickness run through the house, and partly because life just hits me busy in the winter time.

Anyway, as per trend. A New Years post is on the menu.

As I was thinking back on 2016, and several years preceding, I noticed a pattern. The pattern was even more obvious as I read through journal entries. A whole lot of desire to become, and little to no "becoming". A swamp of hope followed by the devastating pit of despair when month after month, year after year, nothing changed.

When I looked at this new year, I knew that I would have to approach it completely differently if I wanted to break this pattern.
I didn't write a list of things I wanted to accomplish. Not even mentally.
Instead I became quiet, which was in of itself was a challenge.
Normally I think things to death. I find dwarf thoughts and turn them into giant problems. My brain transforms solid ground into quick sand.
So, at the beginning of this year (ahem, a few days ago) I first worked on being quiet. There were times when I literally had to yell "Shut up!" every time I would allow debilitating thoughts to begin their circles in my mind.

Once I managed to maintain the quiet, I began to search myself, and ask the question, what is really important?
Before creating the branches, I needed to discover the root.

As I read through my journals and the scriptures, I came across this verse from Psalms 17:15 that I had randomly scribbled on a piece of paper once upon a time.

I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

Before, all of the emphasis for my year, even my every day, was placed on the result of drawing closer to God. The things that I would benefit from a closer relationship with Him. The person I could be if I could just be more like Him.
While all of these blessings, are just that... blessings, I was focusing more on the rewards, then to just wake up in the morning and be satisfied to know in that moment, I was awakening in His likeness.
Waking up each morning, knowing that I am a representation of the God I serve. Better than that, reveling in the fact that I am His child.

So far, it has caused me to hold my head a little higher. To resist the temptation to dip into the well of dissatisfaction and disappointment.
No matter what my previous day looked like, I can wake up every morning and know that I am still the woman that was formed by the hands of the Creator that loved me enough to send His Son to die on the cross for my sins.
He loves me enough to grab a hold of my hope and give it wings.

I am just beginning to open my eyes after resting in this revelation.
The smile grows wider on my face as I think of all the things I can do to grow, to change and become more.
As long as I continue to remember that it all begins in His likeness. It begins where I remember to thank God for breath and breathing.

If I could pick one word for my year it would be "Peaceful". I want the peace of God to reign in my heart.

So many days I get caught up in the madness of everyday living. If anyone knows me, they know that I don't deal well with chaos and stress (which is unfortunate when you live in a house with thirteen other people ;). This year, I want to learn to be ok. To discover inner peace, the peace passes all understanding. The peace that will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus, no matter what life throws my way.

I just want to wake up every morning, amidst the chaos, and the mess that naturally accompanies life, with a smile on my face, a song on my lips, and peace in my heart.
To rest in knowing that no matter what is taken away or added to my existence, I will ever awaken in His likeness.
And that is enough.