Dreams are shattered

I had hoped this post to be one in which I would be excitedly telling you that sibling number thirteen was on it's way.
Instead with sadness I'm writing to say that the child is no more.
Mom miscarried the baby last night.

Even through the sorrow and crazy events that followed, I have seen our family bond and grow.
I saw God's grace as He prepared our hearts for what was to come.
I saw my father's steady strength and amazing faith. The way that he keeps our family focused on God and in good spirits in the midst of a calamity, even through his own hurt, always amazes me.
I saw my mother remain strong. She showed us just how much she trusts her God as she wrote the words of Psalm 34:1 on the blackboard the morning that she realized that the Lord was taking back the gift that He gave her. I saw the joy of the Lord on her face, even through her pain. She held her head high because she knew Who is in control.
I saw courage in my little sister as she attended my mom while she was passing out from blood loss. Her faith unshaken as she told me that she knew everything was going to be alright.
And I felt the peace and strength of God as I watched the truck drive out of the driveway, wondering if that was the last glimpse I would get of my mom.
In the hour that followed as we waited the news, we prayed as we never had before. And peace washed over us. Everything was going to be ok.
And it was.
After a night in the hospital, mom came back to us.

I quote her in saying "Miscarriage is a mystery to me"
Why God would give a child, let it find a place in our hearts and then take it away... we may never know.

But we trust in God's sovereign plan.

Love and dreams were shattered yesterday, but faith was not.
Faith became stronger.

Psalm 34:1

I will bless the Lords at all times: 

His praise shall continually be in my mouth