Dream List #18

Dream list number eighteen. To go for thirty days without eating anything unhealthy.

I have been attempting to reach this goal for a very long time. But whenever I tried, I would give in to the temptations that would present themselves, and find myself back at the starting line. Pretty soon, I just gave up trying.

This January fifth our church began a weight loss competition. For the past four weeks; and continuing on for eight more, we have committed ourselves to be accountable to one another with weekly weigh-ins, all striving for the goal of becoming healthier and of course, to be the "Biggest Loser".
Being in the group has been life changing. It is not just my (insane) competitive drive that has caused me to find success. The encouragement and love that I have received from them has pushed me beyond my limits and helped me to see myself as more then I thought I was.

Three days ago was day thirty of this journey. And that marked the day that I was able to complete that illusive number on my dream list!
Though it has been a challenging month, the rewards have been so worth it!

I have felt so much more energetic, and have been happy to experience life free of the side affects of sugar and other unhealthy food choices.
This journey has forced me to really consider what I want the end goal to be. Not only do I strive to become more fit and healthy and to reach a goal weight, but I also work to change the inside. To get to the heart of all my issues. To be able to turn to God instead of to an unhealthy food choice to fill the empty spaces in my heart.
I don't just want temporary outside changes to take me to the end of a competition (maybe win!?! :) and then fall right back to where I was, and let all the hard work I put in go to waste. I want to make a forever change.

For me, this is not anymore all about a number on the scale.  Rather it is about reaching those personal goals and being the best version of me. The me that God has created me to be.
Sure, I still want to win the grand prize, but it is more then just a prize that I am working so hard for. It is the satisfaction of the overcoming of certain things that I have struggled with in the past.

This is not the end. This is just the beginning.
But it is the claiming of this one victory that will propel me further on my journey.
Thirty days completed. A lifetime of days to go.

The New Year

Two thousand and fourteen has come to a close and another year has begun.
At the beginning of last year, I had written a post entitled 2014 Resolutions. In it I wrote about my hopes for the coming year as well as a list of some things that I wanted to accomplish. I also stated that at the end of the year I would give a report of how things went in regard to my resolutions.
I completely forgot about writing this post until the last minute (or, the last day if you will), and that day was spent getting ready for and participating in a New Year's Eve party.
Anyway, better late then never right?
So here we go... resolution follow-up. :)

Personal Resolutions:

{Resolution 1}
To become more Resolute.

I have gotten better at this, though I still have to work on it. I do find myself being resolute for a longer period of time then the previous year, but I still have issues with sticking with something for more then a couple of months. Something I strive to become better at in 2015!

{Resolution 2}
To beat low self-esteem.

This has been extremely difficult for me to overcome, but I believe that I have become a lot better this past year with embracing who God made me to be. Once again, I hope to work on it some more this year!

{Resolution 3}
To take more advantage of writing inspiration.

I was doing great with this until the last couple of months of this year. For some reason, writing has become a struggle for me lately. I guess my lack of posting has made that obvious :)
My hope for this year is that I get back to where I was and become more of an intentional writer.

{Resolution 4}
To become a runner.

Wow. When I made this resolution I did not expect that I would not compete in a single race the whole year. I struggled with injury pretty much right from the beginning, and sadly was forced to stop running when I had worked my way up to twelve miles.
But I did learn a lot this year about running, which has contributed to my becoming a runner.
I learned that a healthy diet is very important for maximum performance.
I have learned about different types of runs and running styles.
I have tried new training plans.
And I have learned the very important lesson about listening to what my body is telling me and not always needing to run through the pain.
Working my way back up from absolutely nothing has been frustrating. As a result, since my injury, I have been running sporadically, but not consistently. I was able to do some winter running in December, (which I surprisingly found enjoyable!) and I hope to become more committed this year.
I am going for that full marathon!

{Resolution 5}
To read God's word and spend time with Him everyday.

Though I did not complete the every-single-day goal, the quantity and quality of my time spent with Jesus last year was definitely improved. The lessons that He taught me, and the things that He showed me about who He is has caused me to fall even deeper in-love with Him.
This year, I am going to attempt again this same resolution. My top goal for 2015 is to make Jesus the King of my heart and cause my world to revolve around Him. Daily time spend talking to and learning about Him and His heart is something that will propel me in the right direction.

Blogging Resolutions:

{Resolution 1}
To become more real.

I think I have gotten better at this. :)
The biggest lesson I have learned about realness and vulnerability is that while they are a good thing, they have their proper place. There are different levels of "real" and "vulnerable", some are appropriate for the world wide web, while some need to be reserved for the people that you know and love and who know and love you.
While I don't want to put on this perfect front, and pretend that I have it all together all the time, I don't want to become the person that blogs to complain about situations and struggles simply for the sake of not being fake.
It all comes back to the new resolution I have of becoming more intentional. I want each post I write to have a purpose, because of purpose that I have found. It is then that the realness and vulnerability that I show will be genuine and meaningful.

{Resolution 2}
To blog every day for one month of the year.

YAY!!! I did this!! :)

{Resolution 3}
To pick a month in which I post a picture of myself everyday.

I tried several different months to start this, but somehow never felt right about it. I guess I am just not into selfies. :)

Now, 2015.
A new year, a fresh start.
After reflecting on all that God has done in my life last year, I am super excited for what He has in store for me in the year to come!!

Happy New Year everyone!!

Run. Stop.

Two thousand fourteen, resolution number four.
Become a runner.
My intention was to be careful and avoid injury.
But I am of the Mark Pauls family. One of the things that we seem to be born with is a competitive nature. That competitiveness drove me to become one of those "all in or all out" types which can be both a very good, and a very bad thing. This attitude became a big problem when it came to the runner that I wanted to become.

I didn't listen to what my body was telling me, pushed myself to hard, and managed to get myself injured with what I thought was shin splints.
Since we are a active family and playing sports together in summertime becomes a daily event, I knew I wasn't going to quickly heal from this "minor injury". So I decided to suck it up and just keep on running.
Mistake number two.

To make a long story short, through research I have determined that I do not have the symptoms of shin splints as I had previously assumed, rather of tibia stress fractures. Not only that, I have somehow managed to acquire a new injury in my foot, which demands rest.
So I stop, until healed.
Which will make it impossible to compete in the "Thanks for Giving Run" this year, and I will also be unable to complete my marathon training.
(Which makes me sad. But I'll get over it.)

Even though the "running season" ended in a sour note, and I did not end up running any of the races that I had intended, I did learn a lot.
I learned about different paces that aid to reduce risk of injury and completely shifted my training method.
I learned that speed coupled with endurance is not always necessary to build strength for the long run (I don't always have to run 5k pace!).
I learned that there are different types of runs, (recovery runs, long runs, threshold runs, interval runs, steady runs ect.) and each of them are fun!
I also learned to increase quantity, running up to 8 times and 40 miles a week.

I did become the runner that I have always wanted to be, maybe not the way that I wanted to... but still, a runner.

Now, as wintertime swiftly approaches and racing season comes to an end, I determine to get back in to the activity I have learned to love once I am again in running shape.
Becoming therefore one step closer to being the woman I know I was created to be.

New Things

It is April.
April Fool's Day actually, but this post is no joke (promise!).

The date on the calendar that officially ushers in spring has arrived and departed, yet we still experience a long lingering winter.
This month (I hope, pray, beg... PLEAD!) we will be visited by muddy roads, spring rains, and the warm weather that rides in on strong southerly winds.

This is the month in which arrives an abundance of new things.
To celebrate I am announcing that there will be a "new thing" happening everyday of April on this blog.
I have decided this is the month that I will attempt to write a post a day.
It will be stretching, (life doesn't always allow the time needed to create blog material) but I WILL do this!

Due to the possible problem running out of post ideas, I NEED your help.
If there has ever been anything that you have wanted to read/see on my blog, please comment and let me know.
I would appreciate any idea, big or small!

Here we go... let April begin!

2014 Resolutions

Photograph credit: Joanna Froese

Well folks, it is here.
2014.
Yesterday I tossed the idea of writing a resolution post back and forth in my head. I love writing resolutions for the new year, but usually more on a private, personal level, not sharing them with anyone (much less on the internet).
I also had reservations because I feel that one shouldn't start trying to become a better person only beginning on a certain day. (Monday, the new year ect.) But rather should always, everyday be striving to be a better version of who God made us to be.
But one of my new resolutions is to become more real. And what better way to kick off that real-ness... than to write a blog post about how I want me to look like this year.
So here we go...

Personal Resolutions:

{Resolution 1}
To become more resolute.

resolute |ˈrezəˌloōt; -lət|adjectiveadmirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering 

When I dig deep within myself, I find a lack of determination. I dream big, but then tend to fail in long term execution. When it gets too hard, I quit.
I want to work on deciding to do something, then following through until the finish.

{Resolution 2}
To beat low self-esteem.

self-esteemnounconfidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect : 

Not in a prideful way that says "I love me" but rather "I love who God has made me to be".
Not the attitude of "I can do anything" but rather "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".
There was a time in my life where I constantly needed human approval to be confident or satisfied with anything that I did or said. It is an area of my life that I have already approved in, I would just like to take it to the next level and beat it!

{Resolution 3}
To take more advantage of writing inspiration.

inspiration |ˌinspəˈrā sh ən|noun1 the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative: 

Especially when it comes to this blog. There are so many times during my day (especially late at night, when I'm running, and when I am milking) that I will have this "inspiration moment" and I'll write an entire blog post in my head. But time gets away from me, and I'll either forget about it, or when I finally sit down to write, the moment is gone and I lose the words.
I didn't know where those "moments" came from until I had the idea to write a post that I had titled "Just Do It".
I was going to act on it (as to be non-hypocritcal) then write it, but as I already explained often happens... it all slipped away.
A couple of weeks later our Pastor preached a message titled the same and it was pretty much exactly what I had wanted to say in my post (just much more detailed, researched and scripturally based of course :).
It was then that I realized that perhaps that "inspiration" was not just coming from my lively brain. Maybe I had missed God's moment to work through me.
This resolution is to work on not missing it.

{Resolution 4}
To become a runner.

runner |ˈrənər|noun1 a person who runs, esp. in a specified way.• a person who runs competitively as a sport or hobby

I want to compete in a 5K, 10K, Half-marathon as well as a full marathon.  I want to increase training intensity (WITHOUT injury!!), do cross training, speed training, run hills. I'm even considering a runner's diet.
I want to become a runner.

{Resolution 5}
To read God's word and spend time with Him every day.

everyday |ˈevrēˌdā|adjective [ attrib. ]happening or used every day; daily• commonplace : 

Pastor T just preached a sermon a couple weeks ago about how we need to make room in our every day for the One who ought to be the King of our everyday lives.
My goal, above everything else is to put Him first this year, as well as every year for the rest of my life.

Blogging resolutions:

{Resolution 1}
To become more real.

real 1 |ˈrē(ə)l|adjective1 actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed used to emphasize the significance or seriousness of a situation or circumstance Philosophy relating to something as it is, not merely as it may be described or distinguished.2 true or actual

It's not very often that I open up and really expose my true feelings. I want to share more of who I really am with you all this year. To be vulnerable and share some of what I struggle with, things that I have overcome. I don't want to be a complainer, but I also want people to be able to relate with me and my life.

{Resolution 2}
To blog every day for one month of this year
This would be a really tough one for me, but I believe that it would be easier for me to be more real, if I had to blog every day in my very real life.

{Resolution 3}
To pick an month in which I post a picture with myself in it every day.
To coincide with becoming more "real" as well as kicking that low self-esteem. I've always loved it when photographers take up that challenge to post a picture of themselves every day. I'm no photographer... but I love a good challenge :)

There are more resolutions that I have for this year, including the typical "lose weight and get fit". But I'll spare you.
At the end of this year, (unless I don't have access to internet, the Lord comes back, or I'm dead :) I'll do a follow-up of each resolution in detail.

That's it that's all!
Oh, one more thing.
It was my big brother in-law's birthday a couple days ago (Happy birthday Henry!!), my sweet Grandma's birthday yesterday (Happy birthday Grams!!!), and my big brother's birthday today (Happy birthday Josh!!) 

Happy New Year Everyone!!!