Saturday, April 28, 2012

Content in Singleness

Ever felt like there is no possible way that you could ever feel content spending the rest of your life being single?

I remember a time that I thought that there was absolutely no way that I could ever survive staying in my father's household all of my life.
It's not that I didn't LOVE living here, it was just the fact that I thought that getting married and having a family of my own looked WAY more fulfilling and special.

I was reading back through some of my journals from years back, and I laughed to see how many times I wrote about how worried I was that I would grow up to be just an "old maid".
God has taught me so much through the years, especially this year as I watched my little sister fall in love and get married herself.

I have finally learned to be content with where I am. 

I now could honestly say that would be happy to spend the rest of my days with my family if God so wills.
This change of heart did not come about all of the sudden, it took many years of growing and learning and some hard knocks in the head before I realized what is really important.
And that is this....
The most important thing in this life is not to find the perfect job, have a perfect body, find the perfect man (or woman), or live the perfect life.
But the most important thing that we can do in this life is to seek FIRST His kingdom. Serving God and loving Him with ALL our heart, ALL our soul and ALL our mind should be what we live for.
And upon saying that I'll say that the time we have being single is the only time that we have to serve God with everything that we are.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things of the world, how he may please his wife.
There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't get married, if you keep reading Paul goes on to say that marriage can be a good thing. And if you think about it God was the one that created man and woman to be together.
The point that I'm trying to get across is this:
Our time being single shouldn't revolve around constantly looking for that "special someone". If you spend your days dreaming, wishing and searching, you might end up missing out on what God wants to do in and through your life right now.
We need to trust God to bring the right one to us in His time if it is His will.

If you read earlier on in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul talks about being content with where God has placed us in our life. We shouldn't try to get out of a situation just because we think that a different life would suit us better. God has us where we are for a reason. And unless He clearly shows us to travel a different path, I believe that we should bloom where we are planted.

I still dream of getting married and having a family someday, but now instead of holding tightly onto what I would like to see happen in my future, I have given ALL control to God.
I now truly understand what God meant when He said to seek first His kingdom, and all these things shall be added unto you. It means that what is important is to seek God, if we do that, we will not have to worry about all the other stuff. God will add into our lives everything that He knows is good for us. Whether it means being married someday or not.

I know now that God has me where I am for a special purpose, 
and knowing that I'm needed right where I am right now is all that I need to be content.







18 comments:

Stacey said...

Great perspective :) Also keep in mind... while your younger sister is already married, she's still super young, and so are you! I wonder what the world average is for age of marrying. Probably more like 30. You've got a few years :)

Farm Girl Hannah said...

This has been great encouragement today. I've been slowly learning to be content but still have a few more things that I need to work on.

Sharon K said...

God wastes nothing- not one day. Enjoy His time of preparing you while you serve. Thank you for sharing your good thoughts.

Godly-young-widow said...

When I got married in 2000, the average age for brides was 28, which I was. I claimed those verses for my life when I was your age; to think on the advantages of remaining single. And now I re-claim them as a widow. I don't know what will happen in the future, and I know that, with the process of watching those your age and younger get married, it can be hard at times.
Well, your dream list does include things that can keep you busy and productive, and could lead to means of supporting yourself if need be. But it is true that while doing what God's called you to, if it's His will, He'll bring your future husband to you through any of those means. Thanks for sharing, and God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered using this time before you are tied down to a husband to go for further education? A career would come in very handy down the road, if not now.

Débora said...

Wow!!! Great post! You don't know me but I've talked to your mom a few Times and i had to say that! Wow again
(-; jus love what you say here. God will bless you above all you CAN imagine!

Anonymous said...

God asks us to seek knowledge and wisdom, and in your single position in life, going for post-secondary education might be a God-given opportunity that you would never regret. This could open up great doors of service for God. Have you considered?

Anonymous said...

Too bad you do not feel free to post the comments about possibly finding an alternative at this time of your life for further education. You would not be rebelling against your parents, even if they wouldn't like it. Sometimes adult children have to help controlling parents let go by stepping out of the box. These words are coming from a caring mid-age grandma who has been following your blogs for years.

Breathe deep said...

Anonymous:
I was never my intention not to publish your comments, I just wanted to reply to them when I did... and have not had the time. Our farm has been buzzing these last couple of weeks!

I can see by your last comment that you are assuming that I actually have a desire to go to college, but can't because my "controlling" parents won't let me.
First let me tell you that I was quite offended when I first read your last comment, not for myself, but for my parents. Let me put it out there that my mom and dad are AWESOME and I have never regretted for a second that God has set me into their family. I respect, honour and love them more then you could ever possibly imagine, and I look up to them and value any advice that they give me.

I'm in no box. Choosing as a woman to stay at home until/if God brings me a husband someday is not just a choice that I have made, it is a belief. It is MY belief. Its not something that is forced on me like-it-or-not style, it is something that I have embraced for myself.

When God asks us to seek knowledge and wisdom, what kind of knowledge and wisdom is it? Do you think that when God mentions it in the Bible He is referring to getting a college education?

As for a career coming handy down the road...I believe that everything that I'm learning here at home is what will come in handy for me and the life that God has called me to down the road.

Have I thought this through for myself? Absolutely!
I could jump into it now and tell you WHY I believe that God would have me stay at home at this time in my life...but that would be another blog post in of itself...so I'll spare you for now :) (maybe someday).

I appreciate your comments, and I'm not at all trying to pick a fight. One of the things that I dislike the most about blogging is all the fights and disrespect that people start to display, especially among christians about their beliefs. We are all working toward a common goal, and that is to serve Jesus Christ our Lord and give Him all of the Glory in and through our lives.
How we build our house doesn't matter as much as how our foundation is built.

Blessings,
Jennifer

p.s. It's too bad that you don't feel free to leave your name.

kaitlin said...

Awwww, this is so beautiful, Jennifer. :)

And it quite encourages me. Cause I mean, I definitely place excessive importance on things that are meaningless compared love. Like I get insecure about what I look like, and worried about money and stuff like that. When underneath it all, what I really need is to connect meaningfully with others, and be loved as I am.

To me, "seeking the Kingdom of God" essentially means helping God with loving people and all that involves. But it looks different for each of us, I'm sure.

Thanks for reminding me of what is most important. :P

kaitlin said...

P.S. Just some thoughts in response to this:

God asks us to seek knowledge and wisdom, and in your single position in life, going for post-secondary education might be a God-given opportunity that you would never regret. This could open up great doors of service for God.

It sure could, and it's great for some people (I will probably be one of those who choose it), but it's not for everyone, and one doesn't require a formal education to serve. :P John Taylor Gatto has some good thoughts on education actually.

Jennifer has some mad cow wrangling skills and whatever all she does as a farmer. :P This valuable knowledge and training might very well come in to be more useful to her than anything she could learn through post-secondary education. And honestly, some people in University might be better served by learning how to care care for chickens than by some of their classes. :P

On her farm she has been blessed with the opportunity to work with horses. (She is crazy about them, as you probably know.) So don't be worried about her, Anonymous. She has a good head on her shoulders, real-world experience and know-how, and a heart that desires truth and love. :)

P.P.S. Jennifer, I like what you said about building houses at the end of your response to Anonymous. It's sort of related to the idea that it doesn't matter so much where a person is, so long as he or she is headed in the right direction. I think it's a really beautiful way to see.

Amanda said...

I don't normally comment on blogs but I feel that it's important that I do this time with the previous comments. I am from a family where education was very important. I even went through three years of university (not enjoying it at all) because my parents thought that I should. I wanted to honour them so I did. I came to realize through these three years that post secondary education is not for everyone and you can be used by God in many other ways. Yes I am thankful for all the doctors, nurses, teachers, etc. who have chosen that route, but that doesn't mean that everyone has to do that. I have enjoyed the last three years of working and being a wife to my wonderful husband and I would never trade that for a university degree! God has shown me so many ways of how he provides for my husband and I if you just trust Him. Right now God is using me by being a manager at a store and one day when we will be blessed with children it will also bring much joy. I never would have had this if I finished university. Jen do what you feel God is calling you to do and by the way you aren't that old yet so who knows when God will show you the right guy :)

Esther said...

just wondering what happened to megan's new blog? It says that the blog has been removed?

Rose said...

I don't believe that it has to be "either/or" as in either a women gets an education OR she gets married and raises a family. It can be both. I was also raised in a large farming family but chose to leave the farm to pursue an Elementary Education degree. It was not a "rebellious decision" but I was following where God was leading me. I spent all my 20's single - first getting my degree and then working as a teacher before marrying my husband when I was 29. 12 years later we have been blessed with 2 beautiful children and I am a stay-at-home mom and loving every minute of it. I feel so blessed. I believe that pursuing my post-secondary education has deeply enriched my life and was not a waste for one moment even though I am not currently working in the school system. I learned so much from the experience and met so many wonderful Christian friends along the way.

May God bless you with continued peace and joy as you seek to serve Him in whatever that means for you. And, yes, you are still young. I think at your age I didn't even "worry" too much about meeting the right husband. (the worrying came later...lol)

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOU JENNY!!!!!!!!

I loved you long comment! you GO girl:)

LOVE your lil sis
Bekah

ps I like it too when folks don't put there name(JK)makes me think they don't know what they belive!

breathe deep said...

Esther ~ Sorry I didn't reply to your comment until now... we just got back from a week long camping trip. Megan changed her blog address to www.phrazephotography I'll let her know that people can no longer get to her new blog.

Esther Sonneveld said...

Thanks Jen, I was wondering why it had disappeared! I love checking out your family's blogs. i live in NZ but you dont know me ;)

Rebekah said...

Really good post!