Breaking the Silence

So it has been a while. 

It seems kind of ironic, hypocritical even,  that I took such a long blogging break right after I wrote a post practically promising more posts. The truth be known, for a couple of weeks after my cyber disappearance, I had the legitimate excuse of being busy. We planned and put on an event for our church and then we had a friend out from Tennessee. 

But after that, I began what would be a struggle of the inward, spiritual kind. God began chasing me and asking me to surrender things that I held so tightly. 

The running away took it's toll. The words were stolen out of my heart. I barely wrote at all (thus, no blogging), my journal scarcely saw my pen, and I retreated to a place where I could shut off the flow of feeling. A hiding place.

I resided in this place for a long time, because there my soul wasn't bothered. I intentionally became blissfully unaware of the Love that was calling me to action.

I had constructed a wall of noise to block out the still small voice of God asking me to hear Him again, no matter what the cost. To feel His heartbeat, to be his voice. To take up my cross every day and follow hard after Him.

Have you ever been in that place? 

You know that God is asking you to do something, but instead of being obedient, you find yourself unwilling, and begin a wildly unfruitful journey that only leads right back to where you came from?

This journey had me see God in a new way. He is relentless. He loves me to much to allow me to be comfortable with where I am. Even when I feel like he must have given up on me, when I peek through the cracks, I find him and His mercy waiting with open arms. 

So now I am working on tearing down that wall, one day at a time. Today another piece will fall down as I click the publish button, and get back to regular posting.

My next post I will catch you up on what has been going on these past couple of months. 

And I dare to promise... it will be soon! :)

I will leave you with a sneak peek...