Thursday, May 12, 2016

Why I didn't wear makeup until I was 24

One day, while Ker and I were shopping together, I stopped at the makeup isle and said "You know what, today I am going to buy makeup." Ker was like "That is so funny, because I was planning to do the exact same thing."
Both of us had never worn makeup before, and since we started wearing it at the same time, I am sure there are people out there who are wondering why we waited so long to wear makeup, and why we both all of the sudden started to wear it. Well, the reason we both decided to buy it the same day, was pure coincidence. True, we usually do things together, because we are not only sisters, but also roommates and best friends, but with this we had not really ever talked about it, but both had our own convictions.

In saying all of that, I can't speak for Ker, but here are my thoughts about my journey to finding beauty without adding to my features in the form of cosmetics.

I have always wanted to wear makeup. As a little girl, I can remember sneaking Mom's mascara and trying it on to stare at myself in the mirror for a few minutes before washing it off.
As I grew older, I asked my parents if I could have makeup for my birthday. I remember mom telling me that they would rather I didn't wear it because they wanted people to see me for who I really was. And how they wanted others to look at my heart and my character instead of the beauty of my made-up face.

Some of you may think that is harsh. And to be honest, I did struggle with it for some time. But really, their answer was the best thing for me. I had a lot of pride to work through.
The thing that was hardest on me is that I never felt normal. I always stood out because I didn't wear makeup like most girls my age did.
I began to search myself and saw how much emphasis I put on make-up to be beautiful. And how willing I was to wear it just because it is how the world measures beauty.
This began the great learning experience of using God's measuring standards instead of the world's.
It took time, it took tears, and it took a lot of knocks to my pride.

The years went by and soon I was old enough to make my own decision about such things in my life. By this time I was used to having a fresh face, and whenever I thought about wearing makeup, I would search my heart and see that I was not ready.
I was determined to not start wearing it until I didn't see a need to wear it anymore. That sounds kind of backwards, but I knew if I did that, I wouldn't be afraid to be seen without it. My morning face would be my real face, and wearing makeup would just be something that I would wear now and then to enhance what God already gave me.

It took a long time for me to reach that point.Until I was was twenty-four to be exact. Until that day in the store with my girl when I purchased my first bottle of mascara.

And you know what I found? Wearing makeup doesn't make me feel any different as I imagined it would when I was younger. Yes, it is nice to be able to cover the fact that I only got four hours of sleep the night before, or that I had been working out ten minutes before running out the door. But, inside, I feel the same.
I love to wear makeup. I look forward to prettying up on Sundays, or any other day that I go out. But I am not embarrassed about my face, the one that God fashioned for me.

I'm not saying all of this to be judgmental of girls who have worn make-up since they were teenagers. My mom did and she has the most self-confidence about how God made her body out of anyone that I know, and her inner beauty shines bright.
Everyone has their own journey, today I am simply sharing mine.

One thing I would encourage though is that you would not always hide the real you. Your real face. God made you so beautiful, and when you learn to look to Him instead of the world for affirmation of that beauty, you will find yourself so much less self-conscious, and will be able to really focus on the beauty that you radiate within.


Godly-Young-Widow said...

Thank you for sharing that. My journey has some similarities and some differences. I did have an "overdose" stage in my early teens. I used to be embarrassed to look at those photos, but now I figure, a lot of girls have that,(like with hair colors, or boys with long hair or no hair, and more) so it's all part of showing our humanness. Strangely comforting.
Have a great day

Jordie B.D. said...

I appreciate reading your blog posts as I can relate to them! It has not been easy to find many people who I can relate to outside of my family. Thank you for being vulnerable. :)