Monday, April 17, 2017

If you think I'm controlled... read this

I'm not the ranting type. I don't like to come on social media and rave about things that are upsetting me just to get it off my chest.

But today, I feel like I need to make a statement, so that people can stop misunderstanding, and know where I stand.
So, as the title suggests, if you are of the mindset that I am a victim that is trapped in a family of fourteen, emotionally held in my home against my will... then read on. If not, maybe you should skip this post, because what I am about to write may get a little, shall we say "loud".

This is not an emotionally charged post. I may not even hit the publish button, because I have debated with myself for days on whether or not this is the right thing to do. But the more days that went by, the more certain I became that there are people in my life that need to hear this. Instead of confronting one by one, I'm just going to write it, let it out, in one big generalized letter, because I do understand that there may be a wide variety of people that hold me in this regard.

Our family has gone through a rough time these past couple of weeks. By rough, I mean this is as low as it has ever gotten for us. I'm not going to go into any specifics, but I will say that rumours have been milling and swelling by people that we trusted, causing great damage to the leader of our home, and therefore causing a lot of damage to us all.

I have had to deal a lot with anger, because I have seen someone that I love being stabbed in the back over, and over again. I have seen hurt like never before, and I have seen the best of intentions being mistook for the worst, for no cause other than prejudice.

Some may think that attacking Dad wouldn't affect the rest of us, because we are, in some views, the "victims". But we are not. Every stab that has been directed on him has been felt by all of us.

Some people have it in their heads that I don't have an opinion.
I don't have a choice.
I don't have a voice.
Well, hear me roar. My voice is about to be heard.

I am twenty five years old, living in my parent's home, under my Dad's leadership.
This is not normal, I will acknowledge that.
But, just because it is not normal, doesn't mean it is not what I want.

This is a life that I have chosen. I am not trapped here, I love it here.
Within the protection of my family, I am able to live out my dreams in ways that the judgemental couldn't even imagine.
Some say "She isn't allowed to get a job", what the heck do you know? Maybe I do have a job that you don't know about, maybe I don't want a job. The point is STOP JUDGING.
Stop pointing fingers, stop spreading lies, just stop.
If you have a concern, talk to me or my family about it. I am not trapped, nor brain washed, so I will tell you the truth.

Through this hardship, we have come to see true colours. We have noticed the people that don't necessarily agree with us, but they respect us for who we are. For them, we are extremely grateful.
That is all we ask for really.
You won't see us doing hurtful things, and spreading rumours for the way that other people choose to live their lives, all we ask is for the same courtesy to be shown to us.

I will close out by saying this.
My family is a team. These past couple of weeks we have been up all hours of the night talking through what has happened and how we are going to deal with it.
Through this hardship we have drawn closer then we ever have before.
We are unstoppable, we will not be broken, TOGETHER we are strong.


Anonymous said...

I love you Jenny! You are so right on!!! I've known y'all 8+ years and I know who y'all really are and it's nothing like the stupid lies people are saying! Bekah P.

Anonymous said...

Wow I am so proud of you Jen!! To say what you had to say must have been hard. You have such a beautiful heart and the heart and love you have for your family is awesome. Love you and your family so much and miss you all!!


Kanadiangirl said...

Thank you for speaking up. Sometimes we have to do that and there is nothing wrong with that. To those people that have spoken ill of this lovely family, may I remind you of the eighth commandment? And may I remind you that Jesus himself lived with and was obedient to, his parents into his thirties? Are we not supposed to be more like him everyday???! What the dear author of this post is doing, is more normal than YOUR lives!!! She is living more closely to the Saviour than you. Shame on ALL of you. And I hole you read these comments and take them to heart. And I hope you read and study the commandments and the Bible. I myself have two brothers that are unmarried, in their forties, and still living at home. And I am so ever grateful for them for helping my widowed-8-years father because if they wouldn't be there, I would have so much more work in my already overworked life!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, this post is so awesome.

Bless you and your family Jen!
I'll keep you in my prayers.

I feel like this is so close to home for a lot of us older, homeschooled, girls; sometimes it makes us want to scream, the judgements others make that we are trapped are so real, yet what a huge lie! If only they can watch our joy in the life we have not been trapped into, but instead been blessed to live.

Thanks for sharing.