Monday, November 1, 2010

Happy Birthday Andrew!

Wow Andy, I can't believe that it is actually a year ago that you were born... it seems like just yesterday!

I'll never forget that day Andy, all of us Aunties were so excited, we hadn't been expecting you to come so early!
I was so excited about the prospect of meeting tiny little you. It was pretty upsetting when your Grandma and Grandpa told us that we wouldn't be able to see, touch or hold you until you came out of the hospital.

If I knew then that it would actually be a whole 3 months till I would actually be able to cuddle you... I don't know if I could have been able to stand it! But I think it was God's grace on all of us that we didn't know, cause then we could just take it one day at a time.

Every time I would see a picture or video of you, I had a hard time holding back the tears. I wanted SO bad to see your beautiful TINY little face and kiss away all the yucky stuff that you had to go through.
It was hard for me to even watch from a distance all the things that you had to go through. There were actually times that I was glad that I hadn't held you yet, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to bear seeing you have to go through pain.

I admired your mommy for all the strength that she had to have had during those times when she had to watch you struggle, I don't think I could have been as strong as she was.

I prayed for you every day during your stay at the hospital, you were always in my thoughts and everyday I was SO thankful for you.

We REALLY missed your mommy and daddy when they were living in the city to be near you. It was really hard to be separated, but our love for you made it all worth while. The main goal was to get you home! And we knew that this was just a season of our lives that we would have to get through... and in the end, we would be SO glad that we made it. We kept looking towards the goal... which was of course you coming home!

I had to experience being sort of a first born when your daddy was gone, we were building a garage and I had to truly experience what it was like being the oldest. My respect for your daddy grew a lot because I never realized how tough it is when everyone is looking at you to get stuff done and to carry the weight. It was challenging for me... but I think in the long run it turn out to be a good thing.

The first time I saw you was when you were almost 2 months old. I got to peek at you through the window. Here is what I wrote in my journal about you that day...

"Today was priceless. Today, for the first time since he was born... I got to see my little nephew Andrew. He is so adorable! Words cannot express how special it was (even though it was only through a window) to actually be able to SEE little AJ. I've waited for that moment ever since we knew that he would be born.
Love that I thought could never grow any more... just grew. Now my heart is aching to hold the little one. To kiss him and tell him that I love him so."

I remember the day that your mommy and daddy told us that the Drs. had figured out why you were having such a hard time and that you have 22Q deletion syndrome.
I remember your mommy telling us all of the problems that you may have... I was defiant. I decided right there and then that I wasn't going to believe any of it Andy. You were going to be PERFECT. And I wasn't going to accept defeat. I prayed like I have never before prayed in my life that you would experience the least possible problems growing up... and that you would come home soon.
I was also overwhelmed with gratefulness to the Lord when your mommy told me that usually babies in your condition usually have heart problems. Your little heart was perfect! And that is when I knew... God had his hand on your life from the very beginning.

The day that you were able to come home was one of the best days of my life! February 3rd, 2010 was the date that I FINALLY got to hold you in my arms, kiss you and tell you how much I love you.

You were (and are :) SO adorable and I couldn't get enough of just looking at you.

You were about the size of a newborn, so tiny... it was love Andy, now I could truly start being your Auntie cause I could actually touch you and talk to you!
Holding you was a beautiful dream come true and I remember it as if it was yesterday.

And from there on it has been uphill. Being your Auntie has been SO amazing. Your little giggles are a charm and your big smiles melt my heart.

You are an incredibly special little boy Andy, and I love you more then you could ever know!

Have a happy, happy 1st birthday Andy boy!
Love your Auntie Jenny


Shelby said...

"I think it was God's grace on all of us that we didn't know, cause then we could just take it one day at a time." isn't that always how it is, then if we knew we would want to try and hold on with our own strength, but since we don't know we have to keep going back to the Lord to find strength and grace for each day. wonderful post Jen.

Mrs. Pauls said...

Andy has had sooo much prayer poured into him. I know God has a big plan for his precious life.
Such a beautiful post. Thanks.